Pissed about Rockband

Rockband… It’s a game.  Admittedly a fun game when you are with a bunch of friends and fantastic adult beverages are involved.  However Rockband is getting too much hype.

Recently, a contest was done for an Aerosmith concert where you could submit a video of yourself playing Rockband with the winner getting the opening slot for their concert… Playing rockband.  There is also a contest going on from pepsi and MTV that will allow you to win a moonman for the best video playing rockband.

Frankly… This is bullshit.

There are plenty of real musicians out there that are far more deserving of getting these opportunities than a bunch of game geek douchebags that have no real talent.  No one actually wants to sit in an amphitheater and watch some pimply faced teenagers play a fucking video game on stage when they paid money for a ticket to see real musicians play.  Furthermore, can someone please tell me how playing a video game makes you good enough for a VMA?  There has also been a trend of Rockband nights at bars and clubs that are taking gigs away from legitimate musicians in much the same way that Karaoke and DJ’s have done in the past.

This really is a sad trend.  When this game first came out, I thought it would be a fantastic way for people to maybe bridge in to playing a real guitar, bass, or drums, or maybe even make a move into really learning music.  More often than not that doesn’t seem to be the case.  Now with the Corporate Machine pushing rockband down the public’s throat like it’s Britney Spears, it seems that we will stuck with no talent jack holes taking the spotlight from real musicians… Kinda like Britney…

iPhone blog

So I’m totally testing out writng a blog from the iPhone. It’s definitely possible, but it would definitely take some time to get used to doing.

Hopefully this will be easier when 3.0 of the iPhone OS drops.

High School Rocking.. 1995

I can’t sleep… Here’s my Senior Year of high school. At this point school wasn’t so high anymore. It’s all 95 folks.. Enjoy.

Alanis Morissette – Ironic – 1995
From the album Jagged Little Pill by the chick that used to be on U Can’t Do That On Television. I’m not sure that everything in this song is entirely ironic…

No Doubt – Spiderwebs – 1995
Long before Gwen Stefani sucked and back when ska was coming into the mainstream, No Doubt was awesome. Not so sure how a spiderweb would prevent someone from answering a phone though.

Oasis – Don’t Look Back In Anger – 1995
I’ve always liked The Beatles, so I was drawn to this very blatant British Beatles knockoff band. I picked this particular song from “What’s The Story (Morning Glory)” because I’ll always remember this as the song that Jason and I would royally fuck up on coming out of the guitar solo in the bridge.

Radiohead – High and Dry – 1995
It’s a breakup song. They happened.

Garbage – Only Happy When It Rains – 1995
Garbage had the sound that was really where the rock sound was heading in the mid 90s. Plus Shirley Manson is painfully hot. Mmmm.. Scottish girls!

Smashing Pumpkins – Tonight Tonight – 1995
Another tune once again showing some of the musical genius that Billy Corgan had. Big strings in the song with big crescendos and and decrescendos that take the listener on a journey.

Weezer – Buddy Holly – 1995
Seriously… How cool was this video when it came out. That was pretty impressive for when it came out.. Someday maybe my band can rock with The Fonz too!

Red Hot Chili Peppers – Aeroplane – 1995
Cause everyone love pleasure spiked with pain. As far as the video goes… You have to admit… Hot chicks in tight sequined body suits chewing gum and spanking themselves is pretty hot.

Better Than Ezra – Good – 1995
It was the beginning of happy yet kinda sad music… Wait.. Is that emo? Anyway… here is a live performance.

Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) – Marilyn Manson – 1995
This was the song that really introduced me to Marilyn Manson. I remember hearing this and recognizing the song. Honestly I was intrigued by the brilliance of the cover. I believe this video is the banned one.

So there you have it.. 4 years and 40 songs. I’ve enjoyed the reminiscing and hope you’ve enjoyed the selection.

High School Rocking – 1994

And so we come to my Junior Year, 1993-1994…

Aerosmith – Crazy – 1993
Aerosmith was getting big again back in 93 and this was one of my favorites off of the Get A Grip album.  Besides.. How hot was Liv Tyler in the leather pants?!

Pearl Jam – Daughter – 1993
Back then, Eddie apparently did not want to be called daughter.

Blind Melon – No Rain – 1994
Blind Melon is probably one of the most underrated bands from the 90’s.  I have this album and it’s good.  Now enjoy the bee girl!

Beck – Loser – 1994
Beck got big… and it was different.. So it was cool.

Nine Inch Nails – Closer – 1994
This was simply an epic song.  Right to the point… “I wanna fuck you like an animal.  I wanna feel you from the inside.”  I remember seeing the video on MTV and wondering what the cut out parts were.  I finally saw it a few years later and was amazed.  Here it is in all it’s uncut crucified monkey goodness!

Soundgarden – Black Hole Sun – 1994
Another one of the great grunge bands of the 90’s.  I remember being a bit fucked up when I first saw this video, and it completely freaked me out.

Blues Traveler – Run Around – 1994
A real simple song that was really catchy and had a kick ass harmonica part.  And let’s face it.. Dorothy was hot.

Cranberries – Zombie – 1994
A haunting song about the goings on in Ireland at that time.

Weezer – Undone (The Sweater Song) – 1994
Apparently you can destroy a sweater by simply pulling a thread.

Green Day – Longview – 1994
A new punk sound is born with a song about masturbating.

High School Rocking – 1993

So I passed my freshman year of high school unscathed for the most part. After that came my sophomore year (duh) in 1992-1993. I’ll start by touching on a couple of 1992 songs…

Soul Asylum – Somebody to Shove – 1992
I always felt this was what could be considered grunge light, or perhaps pop grunge. It was still kind of a fun song. Admit it.. Your singing it right now.

The Cure – Friday I’m In Love – 1992
The cure was so goth they shit bats. I don’t know what happened to Robert Smith, but there was suddenly this happy poppy song… I mean.. there were bubbles in the video..

Stone Temple Pilots – Plush – 1992
Because sometimes so much depends on the weather…

Tool – Prison Sex – 1993
I’m starting 93 out with Tool… Because Tool fucking rules. That’s all you need to know. This is the first song I heard that used a 7 string guitar.

Tool – Sober – 1993
That’s right… More Tool.. Like I said.. Tool fucking rules! Without Tool, you cannot have a Tool fix! I mean really.. How cool is a band when they can write an entire song with a single half step change for the entire song! D and D# never sounded so good!

The Proclaimers – I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) – 1993
And now for something completely different… A fun little sing along song from a one hit wonder band from Scotland. Makes you want to jump and drink… Right Zach? For the record… 500 miles is a long way to walk… From here that’s like to Kentucky or something.

U2 – Numb – 1993
Cause U2 is awesome and The Edge is badass.

Duran Duran – Come Undone – 1993
What can I say.. I liked this song.. It was well written and the underwater singing chick was hot.

Smashing Pumpkins – Today – 1993
Another one of the greatest bands ever. Billy Corgan was another song writer that helped to define a genre and leave a permanent mark on music. Kinda makes you want to paint an ice cream truck doesn’t it.

Nirvana – All Apologies – 1993
It was awesome… Still is an awesome song. Here I present you with the epic MTV Unplugged performance. Anyone else ever notice that Krist Novoselik kinda looks like Cameron from Ferris Bueller in this clip?

Junior Year coming soon!

High School Rocking – 1991-1992

Cause I’m passing time and can’t seem to sleep, I’ve decided to post some tunes that I listened to in High School. I’m going to make this a little project, so I’m starting with my Freshman Year, 1991-1992.

Guns N Roses – November Rain – 1991
Probably the pinnacle of what GNR was. Musically this song is superb. Big strings, big guitar and powerful lyrics… And Stephanie Seymore is hot!

Nirvana – Smells Like Teen Spirit – 1991
Ushered in the grunge era. There was probably no greater song writer in the 90’s than Kurt Cobain. He is missed.

Pearl Jam – Jeremy – 1991
Great song all around…

R.E.M. – Losing My Religion – 1991
A wonderfully written song. Really I think this may have been the song that really introduced me to R.E.M. It was really cool to hear a mandolin as a primary instrument.

Metallica – Enter Sandman – 1991
Though I had been a Metallica fan for a number of years prior to this, Enter Sandman is the song that really brought them to the mainstream. It was something simplistic but powerful.

Eric Clapton – Tears In Heaven – 1992
This song was loving written for Clapton’s son who tragically died. This song is the one that made me want to learn to finger pick. The ladies loved this tune, and it was one I learned for a girlfriend.

Red Hot Chili Peppers – Under The Bridge – 1992
One of my absolute favorite songs by this band. The guitar work is wicked cool. I also recently rocked the vocals on this in Rock Band.

Pantera – This Love – 1992
A love song for us headbangers. This was the slow song at parties.

Rage Against the Machine – Killing In the Name – 1992
Ok… So I was getting angry toward the end of my freshman year. This is the song that introduced me to the unique guitar stylings of Tom Morello and made me want to get a Whammy.

Lemmonheads – Mrs. Robinson – 1992
I include this because I remember getting caught by my girlfriends dad getting to second base while this song was on. That was back when I could run fast.

Sophmore year up next!!

Kicking Their Own Ass

Movie fight scenes are an art of timing a choreography.  They are added to give some drama to a story causing feelings toward the antagonist and the protagonist.  However, there are times when the story calls for a character to be both to suggest duality in the character, or just for the sake of comedy.  Here are three of my favorite “kicking their own ass” scenes.

Bruce Campbell as Ash Williams in Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn

Jim Carry as Fletcher Reede in Liar Liar

Ed Norton as The Narrator in Fight Club

I personally think that no one is better at kicking his own ass than Bruce Campbell.  What do you think?

Ramblings… Cause I can

So I’ve not really posted anything in awhile.  This is pretty much just going to be completely random…

Britney
Stop it… Seriously…  You can’t sing.  You’re comeback is not going to be momentous, only momentary.  Your music is given to you and your voice is digital.  Just shut up and make a porn already.

Backing up
This is something you do to get out of a driveway or a parking space.  This is not something you do to get into a parking space… Especially when you are in a compact garage driving a Suburban with 6 cars behind you aimlessly blabbering into your god damn cell phone.  You even hold up pedestrians.

Cell Phones
On the topic of cell phones… Stop talking on them when you’re driving.  This doesn’t make you drive better, or make you look cool.  It just lets everyone know that you are a pretentious asshole.  Other cell phone things that make you an asshole include: blabbering in line at the grocery store about your boyfriends small cock; Not using the handy vibrate feature when in public or around people in general (Sorry.. your Britney ring sucks); Yelling into the phone like you’re trying to communicate with Helen Keller.

Texting While Driving
I cannot begin to delve into the level of stupidity that a person must have to be doing this.  I think the term is called Functionally Retarded.  If you don’t know why this is absolutely fucking dumb, you more than likely fall into the aforementioned category.  Remember…  If I see it, I may be so inclined to get in front of you and hit the brakes.

Political Correctness
Seriously… It’s time to get off this band wagon.  White people are white, black people are black, fat people are fat, old people are old.  The fact of the matter is this… We are defined by what people see.  It’s not offensive to have sight.  I’m not going to be offended if I get described as that “chubby white guy”, and no one should be.  I know what I look like.  Besides… It’s a hell of a lot easier than saying that “slightly overweight Caucasian-American”.  Something to think about… I’d be willing to bet black people in England don’t call themselves African-American.

Speeding
We all do it on the road.  You can’t help it… Driving is fun and driving faster is more fun.  If I’m in the left lane doing 75, more than likely passing people, and you come up behind me and get on my ass, I’m not getting out of your way.  I’m already 20 over the posted speed.  You wanna go faster, you can go around and go fuck yourself.

The Elevator
Just because I’m in the elevator with you does not mean I want to have a conversation with you.  Especially first thing in the morning, and especially if I don’t know you.  Push your button, shut the hell up, and get off when you get to your floor.  If you only need to go up or down one floor, take the damn stairs.  No one wants to be stuck in the little moving room longer than they need to be, and you are being a douchebag by being that lazy.

BMW’s, Lexus’, and Other Overpriced Foreign Cars
Most of you guys that have these cars are self important assholes.  Don’t you dare get impatient with me on the road.  You bought the luxury, you can afford to sit in it.

Ok… I think I’m done for now.

Elections, Assholes and Perverts

I can safely say that I’m tired of the election stuff.  We’re at a point now where we know where the candidates stand.  We don’t need to continuous coverage of all the nit picking personal attacks that candidates have left to throw at each other.  On that same note, stop saying that you are or are not voting for Sarah Palin.  She isn’t running for President so shut the fuck up.  VP candidates don’t run for shit because they are chosen by the presidential nominee, not the people…  Not that I have much faith in the people… I mean look who we have running…  Both candidates, quite frankly, suck.  BTW… Not a huge fan of either candidates financial plan, but Joe the Plumber is an asshole…  You make more than $250k?  Fuck you and pay your extra 4%.  If you’re clearing more than $250k as a fucking plumber, you have no reason to even be bitching.  Now come over here and unclog my toilet.

For the record… If you drive a BMW, Lexus or Mercedes, you are a doucebag asshole.  Just saying…

Saw this article this morning:  http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2008/oct/15/pumpkin-marks-sex-offenders-homes/  I have to be honest.. I think it’s a great idea.  I think the sign is kind of lame though.  It should be a picture of the homeowner with a neon sign saying “A FUCKING PERVERT LIVES HERE!”  Seriously… Those people shouldn’t be entitled to have any rights after they do what they do.  I hope and encourage people to set fire to any homes that have that sign posted in the window.

Hydrogen Power? I don’t think so.

I just read a news article about Boeing flying the first Hydrogen fuel cell airplane.  I have to admit, for like a second I was like “Wow that’s awesome.  Maybe we really don’t have to rely on fossil fuels much longer.”  Then I really thought about it, and I am pretty sure I’ve just shot a big hole in this hydrogen fuel cell thing.

To really catch what I’m driving at here, you have to understand how these fuel cells work.  Basically, the energy created by hydrogen molecules combining with oxygen molecules is what drives the motor in vehicles like this.  The byproduct of this is H2O better known as water.  This is what makes this a nice “green” solution to the burning of fossil fuels, and of course there isn’t any detriment to the environment right?  Wrong.

Imagine, if you will, a world without the internal combustion engine.  A time when there is longer a need to burn fossil fuels in your vehicle.  This is because everyone is driving some version of a hydrogen fuel cell vehicle that was ripped off from the original Toyota Hydrollica.  Everyone’s car is putting out nice pure water from the exhaust of their vehicle.  What could be wrong with that?

Well, for starters, it would stand to reason that if a vehicle is putting out water as exhaust, it’s going to evaporate saturating the air around it.  In places like L.A. or New York this would make for miserably humid conditions.  In a place like New Orleans, I can imagine that it would keep the humidity at 100% all the time.  Once this water is in the atmosphere it doesn’t just go away.  It’s going to come down somewhere as rain.  If there is that much more water in the atmosphere, there is going to be that much more water on the ground.  This in turn will lead to more flooding.  We know for a fact that places like New Orleans can’t handle that, and let’s not forget the midwest on the banks of the Mississippi River.  That would be another big flood zone.  In northern climates in the winter time, the roads would constantly be coated in ice.  If it didn’t it would just evaporate and come back down as snow.  Desert regions out west could potentially cease to exist.  Honestly, I think this would just eventually turn the earth in to a humid and miserable place.

This just goes to show that even there is potential for a solution, that solution may pose a different set of problems.